some thoughts about people

I’m going to try to maintain your undivided attention by finding pictures that relate to the topics I’m about to address.

Commitment in relationships. Bryan and I had an interesting conversation the other day. I find it interesting coming from a male, as men tend to think with their dicks, and yet he seems to think with his cerebral neurons. He was talking about how some of his friends seem to think that women are inherently blood-suckers who will ruin your friendships and life. Most of his friends say things like they don’t want to be in a relationship. He think what that really means is that they don’t want to deal with the “bad” in addition to the “good,” they don’t want to have to deal with things when things don’t completely go to plan. That is understandable, but the thing is, that is life. Reality doesn’t go as planned. Life is never all good. You have to deal with the unexpected at times. So to choose to opt out on something meaningful in favor of STDs, drama, and really dumb girls just doesn’t make much sense to him, or me.

On another note, I’m going to be completely honest here. Bryan and I have been together for 8 years. Eight. Long. Years. Hahaha, I’m just kidding, they’ve actually been the best years of my life, and I utterly look forward to spending the rest of my days with him. What irritates me is other people who have been together less time (most couples) who are getting married. People who get married in a shorter time period of knowing each other than it took us to have sex. It shouldn’t irritate me, but it does. I honestly feel like we deserve it more. But I take a small amount of comfort in knowing that we will never divorce. I know that we have never taken a “break” in the last 8 years, and we haven’t even wanted to. We are significantly more likely to be together forever. But still. I wish I was getting a sparkly engagement ring and planning a big beautiful wedding with a romantic vacation honeymoon. But instead I’m going through grad school living with my parents in a different state as him.

Humility. I’m no sure a picture of a woman grabbing her boob in broad daylight is the best picture for this, but try to bear with me.

I cannot deal with people who are not humble. Who really believe that they are inherently better than others. I know people who have been addicted to every kind of drug known to man (and some that still are). I know drug dealers, prostitutes, and strippers. And NONE of them are inferior to me. Do you think your special because you take upper-level classes and have a rich boyfriend? Do you honestly believe that your brain is superior to theirs somehow? Based on what?

The more experience with people that you willingly deny by judging a book by its cover, the less you truly live. The more awesome you think you are, the less you grow. Bob Marley once said “If I was educated, I’d be a damn fool” for this very reason. Do you think that man led a spiritually unfulfilled and unenlightened existence?

Perhaps one of my favorite quotes by William Shakespeare: “A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.”

Seriously. Think about this. You’re missing out on LIVING.

I cannot deal with people who cannot deal with themselves. I understand that to a degree, this is a psychological disorder (trust me, its a lot closer to home than you know).

The thing I cannot deal with is when you preach shit that you don’t do yourself. You talk about how people shouldn’t be defined by their belongings, but then you can’t stop talking about or posting photos of your parent’s fancy car or the over-priced Tiffany necklace your boyfriend bought you. If you truly felt that people shouldn’t define themselves by their shit, then maybe you shouldn’t constantly talk about the shit in YOUR life.

Also, when one moment you’re this super empowered and intelligent woman, and the next moment you cannot stand yourself. You tell yourself “I’m hot!” one moment, and then in the next you’re lamenting about how you’re “fat.” If you don’t like things about yourself, then get off your computer and go run! If I have time to run between taking 19 credit of 700-level classes AND working at a high-stress environment over 25 hours a week, then you can squeeze in a little jog here and there. I’m sick of hearing you complain about shit that you don’t do anything about because half the time, you don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. Get it together, figure out what you want, set some goals, and JUST DO IT. There, I said it.

I’m sick of your shitty, negative attitude. Like I said, I get plenty of it from my mother and I don’t need it from every other self-entitled moaning bitch-nigga in my life.

I say nigga a lot. If it offends you, then you should probably move to China or another oppressive country that doesn’t believe in free speech. Or not get your panties in such a wad about stupid shit.

Responsibility. Alright I have absolutely no faith in the judicial system of this country, but there is something to be said about actions and consequences.

I have a friend who was pulled over for speeding and all his friends went to jail because they were doing illegal shit. He was very lucky not to go to jail and get his car impounded. He doesn’t see this as his fault. No, its just the big bad government who hates him and fucked with him cause he’s a kid in a nice car, and he didn’t do anything worth getting in trouble for. So what’s his solution to prevent this from happening again? Not speeding if illegal shit is happening in his car so as not to attract attention? No, we can’t do that, we MUST speed!! So what to do!

We get a radar jammer.

So now when the cops pull you over (cause their gun said you were going 5 mph on the freeway, and they’re not THAT dumb), now they will get you for speeding, doing the same illegal shit, AND having an illegal instrument in your car. Triple fucked!

When will people learn?

I like to do certain illegal things (like speeding, not heroin or raping 5 year olds or anything THAT bad) just as much as anyone else. But I know that if I get pulled over, it is MY FAULT. Completely. I knew it was illegal and that there would be shitty consequences if I got caught, and I took that risk. So when I get pulled over, I say “ya caught me.” Not whining about “the man keeping me down.”

When I have a Lotus, I will probably speed in it. I might even get a ticket for illegal tint or for having blacked out headlights. But I will accept those and pay the fines, because I will be able to afford to. And if I am not willing the accept the consequences, I will not commit the action. Plain and simple.

People that are the eternal victims. Everything bad just happens to them!!! “Why me?!”

We ALL deal with our shit. Yes, that’s right. Even us white people deal with racism. “Bad” shit happens to people all the time. Not just you.

The key is having the right attitude. You know what, when I was 16, a very good friend of mine hung herself just a few months before we supposed to start school together and be best friends. It was devastating. But I learned a lot from it, about grief, about the person I love, about friends and being there for the people that mean the most to you. I grew significantly from that event. I will blame myself for not doing more to prevent it until the day I die, but I am who I am because of it. I am not a victim of the shit that happens in my life, I take my lemons and make some killer lemonade.

“And why do we fall down? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up.” (Batman Begins)

If it seems like the same bullshit keeps happening to you, MAYBE its not the world that’s out to get you. Maybe you have something to do with it, and maybe by changing your actions, you can change your fate.

“Live in the present, using your past to shape your future.” -Bryan

Take some responsibility for yourself. It sucks to admit your wrong, and it sucks to be brutally honest with people. But you’ll never be happy if you constantly delude yourself and live a fake life of self-pity.

My life in insanely incredible, and my future is looking better and better with each day. I can honestly say that I have no fear and no worries, but I am not devoid of goals. I need to be more considerate of the people around me, and try to do nice things for my friends. I need to organize my life better. I need to do my schoolwork and quit being such a slacker. Actually, speaking of that, I need to put together a study guide. Until next time!

Also, please feel free to criticize me in the comments. I really don’t get enough people telling me what I do wrong. I need more humility. Thanks!!