unsolicited compliments?
Before I forget, a couple updates. Sorry I haven’t posted in a while.
Loving Kung Fu. But since I got back from Vegas on fall break, I had been feeling sort of sick. I was stuffy and such, but didn’t really feel sick or achy or anything. It persisted for weeks. Finally it went from upper respiratory down into my lungs, and I wasn’t sure if I had the pig flu, so I didn’t go to Kung Fu last week (turns out its a sinus infection which I successfully self-medicated with antibiotics I had laying around, since the doc didn’t prescribe anything, as they’re usually viral). It sucked not going to Kung Fu. And I couldn’t donate blood either. And I lost at least five pounds (from not having an appetite? losing muscle mass? who knows). I also haven’t ran in like three weeks, so that’s lame too. But now I’m getting back into the groove.
I am starting on my third cycle since being off the pill. My last cycle was very good, distinct, and starting to shorten to 29 days. My period only lasted two days, was sort of heavy for one day, and then it was done. That kind of worries me cause it’s almost the same amount of bleeding that would occur with implantation bleeding. But it does seem to be a little more than that, and the timing is consistent with regular menses, so I probably don’t need to be concerned.
I am very shocked that my periods seem to be shorter than they were on birth control. Now if only my face would clear up (it’s about the same as it was on the pill), I would basically have all the benefits that I was supposed to have while on the pill. It’s strange. I wonder if I am still retaining the hormones from it. Not sure. I am excited to see what the next few cycles look like, and I’ve started on Fertility Friend, too. Considering everything, I am really glad I’m not on the pill anymore. So far.
The reason I came on here was to talk about people when you mention elective surgery. Now I know I’m guilty of judging people who get C-sections and other elective surgery, but I want some myself.
It got brought up in a conversation, and I posted this picture I had photoshopped awhile ago of my photo that I submitted with my pharmacy school app of how I wanted my nose to look after I got rhinoplasty surgery.
The offending image
Nobody who saw the pictures knows how serious I am about rhinoplasty. For all they know, I maybe was bored one day and decided to play on photoshop. Or maybe I plan to go in for it next week. They don’t know. But inevitably, I get comments like “Don’t do it, your nose is perfect!” or “Why do you want to look like everyone else?”
Okay so the thing is, I started wearing glasses right before I hit puberty. I grew up very fast. I pretty much have looked the same since 5th grade. As a result of my very fast bone growth, the end of the bone (where in connects to the cartilage in your nose, below the bridge) actually flared out a little bit more than it was supposed to. Consequently, my nose looks a bit different from most people in my family. Also, I seem to have some structural problems, it is prone to getting congested and I have never once been able to blow my nose like a normal person. This means that I could get a rhinoplasty for cheap, and also be able to breathe better. It’s pretty standard for a nose doctor to offer “shaping” if you go in for a nose surgery. My aunt got it and declined.
So no, my nose isn’t perfect, I am a human and no part of my is perfect anyways. I am not trying to make it perfect. If I wanted to be perfect, my “after” nose would resemble Keira Knightley’s or anyone else in Hollywood. I don’t want a little stick nose. I think that the “after” nose looks nothing like anyone else’s nose either. I think it in fact looks very similar to my nose today.
I think from an aesthetic perspective, it’s very hard to debate the fact that the “after” face looks much more harmonious overall. That nose just fits so much better with my other features. It softens my eyebrows, and the “lines” of my facial structure flow much more smoothly.
I guess my point is, do people feel like if they don’t discourage me from getting surgery, they are doing me a favor? Like women who naturally have big breasts and they tell flat women “oh honey, you DON’T want big boobs!” How do you know what would make me more comfortable? Why is it okay to judge a woman who wants bigger boobs, but not okay to judge a woman who elects for breast reduction? Do we assume that every person who wants elective surgery is trying to look like an actor in Hollywood?
Why is it wrong to do what it takes to be more comfortable in your body? Why is it wrong to want to be more confident and in love with yourself?
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turbo post
I’m in class and should be paying more attention but I haven’t posted in a while, I’m busy, I’m sickish, and I have a break coming up. So I’m going to take my vitamins and write something about risk interpretation. Fascinating, I know.
So we’re talking about antibiotic regimens for bacterial meningitis. We haven’t yet done our vaccine lecture block, but my teacher briefly mentions that meningitis is relatively common in freshman dorm students because of close contact, hygiene, etc. so that’s why the vaccine is recommended. And a girl in my class asks why they put latex in the meningitis vaccine. It’s actually just the latex in the stopper of the vial that houses the vaccine, but since latex reactions can be so severe, its still a contraindication for those who have latex allergies; and its also only in one of the two meningococcal vaccines, so its not like you’re totally screwed with a latex allergy. My teacher said she had not idea (duh, she’s an infectious disease specialist, not a vaccine manufacturer, haha). And this girl, persists and says “but why would they do that when latex allergies are so common!?”
Anaphylactic latex reactions occur in under 1% of the population (although up to 7% more have some sort of other latex allergy that is more of a contact irritation or non-life-threatening rash), so really they’re not common at all. But she herself has some sort of latex allergy (I don’t believe its life-threatening but the rash type).
Why do people perceive their risk to be so much worse when they know the numbers? As one of my professors put it, a risk could be incredibly rare, but when it happens to you, that 0.01% chance turns into a 100% chance. That’s something I’m learning to be more compassionate about. It doesn’t matter how much you beat numbers into someone’s skull, a miniscule risk is massive when it happens to them.
I guess this idea sort of hit home for me last night for not even a good reason. But I was talking to Bee about kids (distant future), and how he worries because I’m a small lady that I would die in childbirth. And I was like “omg NOBODY dies in childbirth anymore! You are so funny!” And then my friend was like “hey this lady online who was due to have her kid in October died in childbirth” and I was like WHAT!?
So I haunt her. It was her second kid, she looked very fit and healthy. She was not old, and she had the kid in a hospital. I don’t know what exactly happened, but she had her kid, was all epidural’d up holding her newborn son, and within a few hours, she had died from blood pressure complications. I suspect, with what tiny information I had, that maybe she bleed out, ran out of clotting factors, or maybe her blood pressure dropped from the epi (but that’s sort of unlikely to be so severe since they often have you hooked up to an IV for fluids). I don’t really know what happened and I’d be interested to find out.
But anyways, they have this website they updated with baby stuff while she was preggo, and she and her husband updated it. It is so incredibly tragic and terrible seeing his responses, even though his notes were not melodramatic at all. I just can’t even imagine going through that. It almost makes having kids not even worth the risk of leaving your husband and kids alone. I mean at least her husband has two boys to take care of, but seriously. That crap is awful.
Even though I keep telling myself that the risks are very low, they seem so high when you know a person it happened to. It was kind of a shock. When you see rare odds, you think “oh that never happens” but it does sometimes.
Anyways what else is new. I think I’m getting sick. Maybe a sinus infection, maybe the cold. No fever (yet?) so its probably not swine flu, but I’ll keep an eye on it. I really didn’t want to wake up today.
I also dropped out of trying to fundraise for the marathon because I didn’t get one donation, and I have only a few months to raise about $2,000 and I can’t afford to cover that if I had to. So I plan to still run the marathon, I’ll just have to fork over the $100+ to run in it. We’ll see.
Fertility awareness is going well. My cycle this month seems to be more normal, which is good. I really don’t miss birth control. I am breaking out a lot less than I expected.
School is good times. I feel like I’m doing well this semester, knock on wood. I hope so. Until next time!
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life is not so bad lately
TMI warning ahead:
First things first. I have completed one full cycle off the pill. I am now starting on my 2nd cycle. It took me forever to ovulated (CD22 to be precise), but my luteal phase was pretty normal – 11 days, a little short, which is apparently pretty normal for the first pill-free cycle. My fertile “fluids” were a little ambiguous and very brief, but I expect that to improve with the next few cycles. I was surprised that I had noticed any at all.
And now I am on cycle 2, CD 3. This morning, it looked like I was pretty much done bleeding. I may be jumping the gun here, maybe its just hiccuping, but if it is tapering off, that would be pretty much incredible. Its also possible that it the endometrial lining will build up as my body gets used to having to produce its own estrogen again, but I was really surprised with a 22-day long proliferative phase, that its so far so light. Oh, and did I mention I have NO cramps? And a little gas, but that’s the extent of my GI symptoms. I thought for sure this would be the aunt flow from hell, since in high school pre-pill days, I had excruciating and debilitating cramps – although not lasting more than a few hours, a day at most, but those were some action-packed hours, let me tell you!
It’s pretty counter-intuitive that going off the pill has made my flow lighter and gotten rid of my cramps (maybe that’s the case since I’m a small lady and the pill was actually giving me more hormones than my body produces normally? unlikely), I think the real reason is that I have been pretty good about taking my multi-vitamins, vitamin B-complex, and evening primrose oil every day. I used to be so bad about taking my vitamins, but if it means less PMS symptoms, I think that will definitely encourage me to take it daily.
So, knock on wood that my luck persists. I’m breaking out a little more, but not nearly as bad as I expected. If breaking out becomes a cyclical thing, I might consider going on antibiotics for a few days of the months to see if that makes any difference. I don’t really want to take anything, especially antibiotics, so hopefully it will clear on its own. Or maybe I can just deal.
End TMI.
I have decided to run a marathon and really need donations to benefit Irritable Bowel Disease. So click on the link above, and donate! I would appreciate any amount you can give, but if 100 people donate $30, I will reach my goal. $30 really isn’t much. I could also try to get 200 people to donate $15, but I’m not sure I can get 200 people to donate. Whatever you can donate, I’d appreciate! None of this money goes to me, by the way. I’m not getting a cut or anything. In fact, I’ve already donated $75, and I’m training to run 13 miles, so help a sistah out! :]
Everyone in my class is making me nervous by studying so much, so I should probably wrap this up and go study a little.
So Starbucks has this Apple Chai tea infusion drink thing, that I love iced and am making myself. Its derishous and wakes me up like nothing else. Also ever since going off the pill, caffeine suddenly works on me. Its sort of nice but I also crash, which isn’t quiet as fun haha.
I am going to Vegas next week (14-18) so we should hang out if you’re there. I won’t be there again for… a really long time probably. I might be there for Thanksgiving maybe. Iunno, it’s pretty frackin expensive to fly on Thanksgiving.
Here’s a picture of one of my favorite animals out here that I see pretty frequently. If you ever see them moving in real life, they’re actually really impressive critters.
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I’m reading this book called “Take Charge of Your Fertility” which talks about using fertility awareness both for avoiding and attempting pregnancy. Its interesting. We’ll see how wacky my cycles are from the pill these next few months.
Also, my credit card company got bought out and they’re making changes. They sent me a letter saying their fees and penalties would go up, but none of those affect me. Then today I get an email telling my I’m approaching my credit limit, which I thought didn’t seem right. So I look, and they almost HALVED my credit limit. I send them an email asking what’s up, and they told me that they mailed me a letter yesterday explaining why my credit limit decreased. I’m really trying to help out by spending money and building credit and all that, but its getting to a point where I might have to get a different credit card. I liked this one because I got iTunes credits, and that’s nice for buying apps for my iPod Touch and music. I pay off the entire balance every billing cycle, and have never been late. I’m kind of upset because I won’t know why probably until next week, and I feel like I’m being punished. So I’m worrying that something happened and my credit will reflect it.
Anyways, speaking of new music, I recently discovered Murs and Living Legends and I LOVE them!! Fantastic hip hop. Kind of softer hip hop, a little R&B, reaaally good.
Its been raining and I have the weekend off, and I noticed this beautiful desert plant (weed) outside my room. I don’t know what it is, but I love the way it’s shaped:
And on the topic of flowers, here are a few more.
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So I guess my parents are very bitter that I’m in Kung Fu. I’m not entirely sure why. It seems to me that trying to be an active, healthy person is worth promoting. I come home and I get nothing but nagging about when do I have time to do homework. First off, I don’t have homework. I study. I don’t have to turn in an assignment every day before class begins. Secondly, I have been in school (successfully, to toot my own horn) for EIGHTEEN YEARS NOW. And somehow, I have managed not only to get by, but to do very well. And maybe its just me, but the more I am nagged, the less I want to do whatever it is I’m being nagged about. I don’t want to feel like I am doing anything to impress my parents or anyone else. I want to feel like I chose to study on my own accord, not because I was guilted into doing it. I am a very independent type of person and I want my own expectations of myself to be above anyone else’s.
Its just so irritating when I want to do something and I have to fight it. Its like how people pick apart Barack. It doesn’t matter what he says, people will hate it. It doesn’t matter what I do, I’m doing it wrong.
It is so. Damn. Irritating.
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some of my latest wedding digs
I think my favorite part of looking at wedding photos is the bridal dress. When done right, they just look so rich and luxurious. I also like invitations. Here are some of my most recent findings, and also some photos of a house that I like.
Also I feel like there’s a timeline for depression. If you are so depressed from an event that you express it as if the event just happened to everyone you know, months after the event has happened, you are either vying for attention or you need help. Maybe there are some circumstances where this isn’t the case. But several months after an expected event happening, most of your friends are sick of futilely trying to make you feel better. It does nothing but make people feel guilty for apparently not being able to support you. Be the change you want to see in yourself.
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week 3 looking hopeful
I decided to try organizing all the folders for my notes this semester by week (I take all my notes digitally to save my back and some trees). So if I refer to a week by a number, that’s what its about.
Kung Fu last Wednesday was good. Huge class! I was so sore, I thought I was going to do terrible but I haven’t. Today though, my chest felt really tight while trying to breathe. Its probably my heart, it isn’t very strong yet.
My sifu’s wife is pregnant. I always thought it would be sort of funny to labor on labor day, but alas, no such luck. Haha, the stupidest things entertain me.
I worked way too much this weekend but I think this first exam won’t be too bad. I work tomorrow morning but then I’m off until Friday night, and the test is on Friday, so I think I will be okay.
I wanted to knit a baby blanket for my sifu and his wife. She’ll almost definitely have the kid before I finish it, but maybe it will be a nice Christmas gift, from one non-Christian to another, haha.
Anyways, I wrote tonight because on my way home, I saw a magnificent stag (in my neighborhood). Living in the mountains is really cool. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a wild stag before, at least not with horns. And this one was at least 4-points, so not insignificant. Definitely not reindeer status or anything, but a beautiful creature nonetheless.
He looked sort of like this, except at night. I rolled down my window and we stared at each other for a few seconds before he casually walked off.
Cooler in real life, I swear
Also, temping is kind of cool. I feel like a science experiment, in a good way. I’m enjoying it so far.
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Monday I went to Kung Fu for the first time in quite a while. And it. Felt. Amazing. My body is quite out of shape, but the endorphin rush was like something not commonly seen. Needless to say, I was incredibly sore yesterday, despite taking lots of Aleve, and still today I’m sore. I also started my period a day early, I assume because of the physical stress of starting an intense new workout.
I’m not sure I know the names of enough muscles to name every one that is sore. So far it is my back, near my lower shoulders, upper arms (tri and biceps), lower arms, inner thighs, calves, neck a little, and of course my uterus is being terribly achy. It’ll be nice to be able to predict when my period would be so I can start taking Aleve before I even get cramps. Maybe I’ll try acupuncture if I can afford to.
And because of the uterus drama, I’m having many rather unpleasant GI symptoms that I could live without.
Anyways because I didn’t anticipate starting menstruating until Wednesday or more likely Thursday, I didn’t start temping until this morning. But some places tell you not even to worry about temping until after menstruation. I found a really spiffy iPhone app that I can use to input my temperature and other symptoms. Its quite handy, actually!
I’m down to about 110 pounds (thanks to my new scale, woohoo), which in a way is good because I can only assume the loss is fat. But in another way, I’m trying to gain enough muscle to put myself comfortably above 110, but I have until November to get that accomplished. I’m hoping I can manage to squeeze several pounds of muscle into my glutes. That’s the only place I can think of that I wouldn’t mind being buff. That and maybe my thighs, but my thighs are naturally so buff (as well as my calves to my dismay, I inherited those directly from my father) that its hard to really add anything significant to them.
We also had a hypothetical patient in our osteoporosis lecture with a family history of osteoporosis, was in her 20s, exercised, and was 5′2″ and 108 pounds. Apparently everyone in the class thought she needed to gain weight. If you can’t tell, that almost exactly fits my description, though I don’t feel too skinny in the slightest. It was a little sad to me. I guess that’s why I don’t often tell people what I weigh, because its for some reason less than it should be, according to them. I wonder if I take lots of calcium, my bones will get more dense and I can gain weight that way! Haha, that ship probably has sailed already.
Well I have to be at work in 2 hours and I’ve got to get ready, pack up my Kung Fu clothes, eat, and maybe even get some homework accomplished.
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So at the risk of seeming incredibly crunchy and out-of-touch-with-modernity, I have come up with a solution that allows me to go off hormonal contraceptives, not have to pay for an IUD, and still not get pregnant. Maybe you’ve heard of the fertility awareness method. It works a few ways, but basically I would take my body temperature every morning, as well as follow other physical cues, to determine when I am ovulating. An ovum is only viable for about 24 hours, however sperm is viable for about 5 days. To be safe, this means that I’d either have to abstain or use a barrier method 7 days out of my cycle. When done properly, this method has the failure rate of an IUD or oral contraceptives, based on the latest studies. It also has the benefit of being just “me”, without hormones, as well as allowing me to be more aware of my body. It has been shown that women who use this method are also more educated on women’s health than women who don’t, and they are more aware of their contraceptive options.
This is a good option for me, I feel, because I abstain most of the time anyways. If there ever was a point where Bee and I were together during my fertile week, we could either use condoms (preferably not latex, not the most attractive smell) or spermicide (that stuff stinks too though), or, my favorite option, using my leftover Quasense a few days before I would ovulate to prevent ovulation, the same way Plan B/emergency contraception works. I have about 3 doses of that left from when I stopped Quasense, as well as possibly some refills leftover. I’m also reading about those Lambskin condoms, and I might give those a try, too. Supposedly they feel much nicer than latex. With any luck, they might smell like a delicious gyro too! (Just kidding)
FYI, lambskin condoms don’t protect against STDs, particularly viruses such as HIV. Very thankfully, I don’t need to worry about that.
So I’m really excited about this. I found a website that allows me to track my cycles for free, though I might pay extra to get the fancy graphs and stuff if I feel like I need it. I already monitor my lady-parts on a daily basis. I feel like that’s more than most women, but I also don’t really ask. It’d be nice to know when I’m fertile for when Bee and I decide to try having kids (in a galaxy far, far away). And maybe when I can afford an IUD after I graduate, I can still do that. We’ll see how it goes. I look forward to it.
In other news, I was thinking how there’s nobody who really focuses on breeding hairless rat (speaking of fertility, lol). There are so many breeders out there that do such a fantastic job of genetic in furred rats, such as dumbos, that result in healthy, happy pets. Many of these breeders have hairless rats for pets, but very few want to invest the time and possibly heartbreak involved with breeding healthier furless rats. I feel like perhaps with my scientific background, I could specialize in breeding hairless rats that have strong immune systems and are more resistant to respiratory infections. Maybe I could even breed them so that mommy rats could lactate. Apparently female hairless rats have lots of problems lactating, so their babies have a hard time making it. Who knows if I can do this, its a pretty lofty goal, but its something to look forward to. Rat breeding isn’t nearly so lucrative as snake breeding, but I feel bad for anyone who, like me, likes the look of hairless rats and took one home, only for it to die within 6 months of life. Its heartbreaking.
Here are some pictures of dumbo hairless rats. I think they’re adorable.
A little peachfuzz here
Look at those blue eyes!
That last one is from SoCal!! And she bred them from a female hairless! Exciting!!!
My favorite part is all the wrinkles.
I can’t handle all the cuteness. :]
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feeling better
Well I feel a bit better since I last posted. Last night I got into contact with a girl from high school who now lives in Reno. She is a rat breeder, so I asked her some questions about Eve. The more I learn about rats, the better I feel about the situation. I’m trying to turn it around into a positive situation.
Here’s her website, check it out! She just got a new litter two days ago.
Bee is starting to really warm up to having pets. For a while, he always thought I had too many pets and wanted me to get fewer. Then we got Eve, and suddenly he seemed to understand my love for animals. He’s said that now he’s glad I love animals. I think there’s a certain kind of person that feels a connection to living things other than humans. Now he wants a whole clan of rats, alpacas, chinchillas, snakes, dogs and cats. They all have their benefits. He even said he wants a ranch-style house where we can have livestock like horses and cows. He’s gotten a lot more loose with the pet concept!!
I love horses, they’re beautiful, strong animals with a lot of personality and intelligence. I would love to have a jersey cow and have our own milk and make our own cheeses and dairy products. Goats would be great for making cheese too (feta for example). Alpacas are adorable and can be useful for making and selling very soft, warm fibers (it’d be really cool to have merino sheep too!). Chinchillas are badass little guys that live forever but make very sweet pets (and fiber, too?) Dogs are self-explanatory, as are cats. Cats are non-negotiable. Snakes aren’t the brightest, but they are pretty cool animals to watch and feed. Some species are incredibly beautiful. Plus, breeding snakes can be a pretty lucrative business.
I was looking at pictures of rats from breeders, and that made me happy. Here are a few:
Baby Dumbo Rat
Baby and Mom Dumbo Rats
So that made me happy. Rats are just too adorable. I also noticed that very very few breeder will breed hairless rats. Some breeders have them, but only as pets. I’m not sure why. But I was looking online, and as I suspected, they’re difficult to breed. They are often inbred very deeply, and lack strong immune systems. It seems like Eve hardly had an immune system at all, she was so susceptible to any stressor. Anyway, once I’m more settled into a home, I’d love to get a few rats in a nice spacious cage.
In other news, I went running this morning. It was nice. Improved my pace a bit which is good. Didn’t get the cramps. However, my 2½ year old Shure headphones (which I love, by the way), are starting to die. The wires in the left headphone are apparently fraying internally, causing a bunch of static-y noise. I was thinking about replacing them with these, since they’re about the same price I paid before and are equivalent models. They also come with a 2-year warranty.
I have nothing but good things to say about Shure headphones. These are, by far, the longest-lasting headphones I’ve ever purchased. Hard to beat for $50, too. I know I’ve spent $20-$25 on headphones that didn’t last 6 months, so its a savings in the long-run I think. Sorry, I guess the terminology is “earphones” since they’re more like earbuds. The sound quality is fantastic, and they do a supreme job of isolating noise. To the point where I won’t hear trucks driving right past me when I’m running (sort of dangerous but the speed limit in my neighborhood is 25 and they usually see me and give me lots of space). If you’re looking to pick up some headphones, I would definitely save up and get these. You won’t regret it. I think I’m just gonna buy them right now.
Also, I wanted to say how much I like the Nike+ workout set up. I love how the receiver is built into my iPod Touch, as well as iPhones. I can use the transmitter in my non-Nike shoes without many problems. Every time I plug in my iTouch, it syncs my workouts and sends me to the Nike+ website automatically. It tracks my runs. Tells me how many calories I’ve burned, how many miles, average pace, and even have a graph that shows my speed changes throughout my runs. I can set up goals, or I can be coached with a certain routine, such as training for a 5k. There are tons of workout videos available. Nike is revamping their website so that you can also track other conditions of your run, like the terrain and the weather, so that you can see how different conditions affect you. I understand that Nike is a business that makes money from sports and exercise, but in my opinion, if you’re going to make money, better to do it while helping people be more healthy simultaneously. Its a great system, I think.
Charlie is out of shape too, still. Much of the run, he was having a hard time staying ahead of me. For a dog that is constantly pulling at the very end of his leash, this says something. It was sunny and pretty warm, especially him being in a fur coat. So I filled up the kiddie pool and picked him up and set him inside, and he quite liked that. He’s a funny dog.
I’m going to go watch the rest of Crossing Over. It looks like an interesting movie, about immigrants in the USA.
Oh and for those of you with Macs, I highly recommend Snow Leopard. Its way worth the $30 upgrade, and has all sorts of nifty and handy new features. Not a dramatic difference, but useful features nonetheless.
Also, whiptail lizards are adorable. We have so many lizards! I lurve animals. :]
Didn't take this
I’ll have to take some of my own photos, there aren’t many good ones online.
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